San Francisco Weddings I Wasn't Invited To
or
My First Night As Exaulted Ruler
For about $200 I bought a round-trip plane ticket to San Francisco. Turns out lots of people were getting married. The funny thing was, I wasn't invited to any of their weddings, but since I didn't know any of them, I didn't take it personally. (One of The Four Agreements I'm working on right now)
Feeling disconnected from 'core friends' my man and I decided to rally down to where we knew many of them would be due to these multiple weddings.
We arrived on Friday night after work to meet up with our old Kentucky gang, (few of whom are actually from there) The first night was a blast. We managed to join in on a pre-wedding party, slash birthday party at the fancy Elks Lodge just off Union Square. Now looking back it seems rather odd that we were even let in without a proper secret code word. I laughed as I briefly reclined on the elevator's green velvet chaise lounge for a short three floor ride. Little did I know this chair would come in handy later.
Soon were quickly hit in the face by hugs, laughs and loud story telling galore. The partner lubricant to this affair was actually my choice. When asked, "What are we all drinking tonight T?" I joyfully exclaimed, "Kentucky Waterfalls! Makers Mark and Ginger Ale for everyone!"
We all hunched around the tall table in the dim, wood paneled, bar room. The walls were lined with all sorts of member memorabilia and two opposing massive buck heads.
On a nearby table I found a pin that read 2008-2009, Exalted Ruler on it, so... I went ahead and put it on.
It seemed that there was constantly a refreshing glass of Kentucky Waterfall in front of me. We were all laughing so much, I didn't even realize how quick the current was moving on the river.
One random thing led to the next:
First I traded stories with a friend of a friend who seemed to have the same exact old-school Orange County family history as me, then I was recognized by my sister's ex-boyfriend from a million years ago and proceeded to have an interesting drunken chat about this and that, then came the symbolic Elk 11 o' clock. As the massive clock chimed "the 11th hour" everyone went deathly silent. I went still fearing that one of the great buck heads was going to come to life and call me out for wearing my new pin. Thankfully, it was only part of tradition. The real 'Exaulted Ruler' gave a poetic toast to the Elk's passed. I held up my 3rd or 4th glass of KY Waterfall and coolly tried to hide my stolen pin with my arm.
As if this night couldn't get any more weird, the next thing I knew, I found myself in the women's lounge grabbing a kindergarten teacher's breast to see what a 'good' boob job felt like. Some very intoxicated lady I've never met before made her way into our conversation and insisted that we get first hand experience. She just kept flopping it out, saying "Here, feel it, feel it." It was crazy!
At this point the river really began to speed up, and for the first time in my life, I went over the falls.
Most of the Kentucky Waterfall went into the Elk's Lodge toilet. I heard that while in the elevator sitting on the fancy green seat a little more was caught in my friend's sweatshirt, and a bit more right before the taxi ride, and then the last of it trickled down onto 24th St. in the Richmond.
I'm glad I managed to survive the evening, while also gaining a new respect for, The 11th Hour, Kentucky Waterfalls, and 'good' boob jobs.
